Memories
by Aethelynne
Summary: No one ever thinks about the influence the events of their life has on their identity. After the hell Shepard has seen, it's no surprise when her mind builds a wall, hides her memories from her conscience. James understands a little too well. AUish, R


**Quick note: **Hello everyone! This story is going to be a tad different than the ending of ME3. I don't know how many things I'm going to change yet, but I hope you don't mind. This chapter is more or less a prologue, not very long. Please review! I ran out of space for my summary, so; yes, there will be sex and other fun stuff, later on.

Fluorescent orange essence blankets the universe, jumping from one Mass Effect relay to the next. A destructive portrayal of the domino effect, each relay bursts into millions of shards. As the brilliant light touches the reapers, it drains the life out of each and every one. Shepard falls to her knees, blood-soaked hair hovering over her eyes as tears dot the metallic floor. She's finally achieved her biggest goal, the universe is free. With a final glance at the Catalyst, now a slowly fading existence, her body clangs to the floor. The holographic boy fades in and out, the technology making a sick crackling sound.

_I've done it. Please, let me rest now._

* * *

Trigger finger twitching with anticipation, James aims his rather large gun at an oncoming husk. He watches, disappointment momentarily dominating his features as the abomination falls to the ground. Dead, but not from his bullet.

"Hey, Scars! Do you think...?" He yells over the deafening sounds of battle waging all around, noticing that it's quickly coming to an end. The universe is already silent by the time Garrus forms a response.

"Yeah, Vega. I think she did it." Both men stare at each other, the weight of the scene before them not quite sinking in. Their guns fall back into their holsters, compact and neat. The Lieutenant's legs begin to move on their own accord, muscles urging him forward. The same beam that whisked his Commander away pulls him up to the Citadel just before disappearing, greeting him with a sight unlike anything he's ever seen before.

Bile rises in his throat, but he chokes it down. No amount of dead bodies can stop him right now. He pushes himself down the corridor, just to find more ominous hallways. A slight trail of blood is his only guide, leading him towards a very dead Illusive Man.

"Shepard!" He calls out, voice starting to become hoarse. His angry fist plows into the terminal in front of him, sturdy metal standing its ground. A creak sounds above him, making him jump out of the way as a small platform makes its way down to the floor. Curious, James places a tentative foot onto it, then the other.

"Fuckin' reapers and their need to drag us... places." He grumbles as the platform begins to rise, masking his fear with humor. Like always. But this time, he's more afraid that there's no one around to hide it from.

His heart drops into his stomach as his tired eyes land on his unconscious Commander. Her black hair is thick with blood, splayed carelessly along the metallic ground. He stoops down next to her, gently rolling her onto her back. Her mouth parted to let air in and out is the only sign that she's alive, breath softly tickling the muscular hand poised over her lips. Content that she's alive, James pulls his hand away and maneuvers her body into his arms.

"James?" His radio crackles on his hip. The Lieutenant has to skillfully shift the woman's weight, freeing an arm to answer Joker.

"Joker. She's still alive." The words sound off, like they're coming from someone else. But he can feel his voice vibrating in his throat, can feel his lips form every word.

"I'm on my way."

* * *

"Huh, so their theory worked." James utters to himself, eyes taking in EDI's robotic figure as she greets him on the Normandy.

"Yes. The scientists saved my life. And the geth's." She nods, motioning for him to follow her to the med bay. James places Shepard on one of the makeshift patient beds, mind reeling from such an eventful day.

"Let's hope Dr. Chakwas can save her's." Sparing one last glance, he excuses himself and makes his way to Engineering. Anything to distract himself from the lifeless look on her face.

He wraps his battle-worn hands around his metal bar, the muscles in his arms gladly lifting him off of the floor. The exertion takes his mind to a better place, the days when she'd watch him lift himself over the bar again and again. He always showed off, silently hoping she had a thing for muscular men. He only received sarcasm in return.

"I see you don't waste any time getting back to work, Mr. Vega." Steve's playful voice rings from the elevator, easing some of Vega's uneasiness.

"Esteban! Good to see you made it out alive." He drops down from his bar, turning to face his friend. "I also saw that EDI's alive. Whoever decided to lace that weapon with Sovereign's DNA deserves a fuckin' medal!"

"I can't die, Vega. My damsels would miss me." He shrugs, laughing at their inside joke. "And, I'm pretty sure the woman did get a medal for it."

"Esteban, Shepard..." The muscular man lowers his eyes, unsure of what to say. Even when Shepard got her Commander status back, he continued to feel like her guard dog. She'd been much less kind than the stories led him to believe, but he could always see in her eyes that her sternness was a facade.

"I know. I'm surprised you didn't stay up there with her." Steve places a soothing hand on James' shoulder, knowing too well what the woman had put him through during the mission. One day she'd giggle at his flirtatious jokes, the next she'd threaten to kick him off the Normandy.

"Maybe I'll head back up after a few more reps on my baby."

* * *

James finds himself lounging in a comfortable chair, staring hopefully at his unconscious commander. Hoping and praying that she'd open her eyes already.

She stirs, the movement placing a pained look on her face. Her eyelids flutter, causing his heart to skip a beat. To his amazement, her eyes fly open, revealing crystal clear blue irises.

"Who... are you?" She asks, voice thick with confusion. Concern furls his eyebrows, but she cuts him off before he can speak.

"Who am I?"

* * *

**Author's Note**: Ok, welcome to my first James story! How do you guys like it so far? :)


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